Progress...

I'm recovering from an intestinal disorder characterized by abnormal frequency and fluidity of fecal evacuations.

OK! OK!

I had diarrhea. I must have forgotten to wash my hands before dinner a couple of days ago.

Actually, I didn't forget to wash my hands. I always assume my hands are clean whenever it is time to eat, as long as they don't look or smell funny. It is just one of my worst habit. My beloved wife has always been nagging about it.

Hey, I wash my hands at least five times a day. How dirty could they be? My hands are not like my head. It's dirty all the time.

(HAHA)

BTW, I'm having problem with my Yahoo account. It seems that my ID has somehow disappeared from the Yahoo network. I'm not sure what happened, but I would really like to find out. Now, I can't access my web-based mail and my messenger.

It's quite depressing because I've been using that ID ever since I was in form three. It was my first email account, created by Pak Su in a cybercafe in Sungai Petani. I did try out Hotmail, Waumail, yourownemail.com etc2, but I only stick to Yahoo.

As, they say, the first is always the most special, like... "I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor," Dr House #206.


p/s: When is the next episode coming out?

Not?

Its 4.20 in the morning, and I couldn't get some dreadfully needed shut eye. So, here I am... typing yet another set of meaningless words on this blog for everyone to read.

At least, this feels better than doing the actual work I've packed from office, as if I'm going to do it at home.

My work have deadlines. Deadlines cause anxiety. Anxiety leads to stress. Stress leads to insomnia. Imsomnia leads to many other bad things. I'm not sure whether horniness is one of them, but I'll put the blame on insomnia anyway, cause I'm quite horny right now.

Well, if you really want to know whether it was the insomnia, try google. I'm not sure what is the outcome, but I'm sure one of those many porn sites will somehow be in the search result. Of course, I never clicked in any of those links. (HAHAHA)

A word from our sponsor: Stay away from porn site. Press ALT + F4.

Mr Baldy desperately wanted to make a comeback. I'm not going to elaborate on that. He's on his own.

Sad thing about this weekend is, I'm not reunited with my beloved wife. She has some work to do over there, and I need to meet a few deadlines early next week, which causes me to go to office tomorrow (well, this morning actually, at about 11.00am or so). There is also the invitation from an officemate to his wedding reception on Sunday which stopped me from taking an express bus to Kuantan the soon I finished my work.

By the way, my health has been significantly detereorating in the past couple of weeks. First, the gout. Then, it was the abdominal pain (I could just type stomach ache, but it doesn't sound House-like, hehe) which I've been having on and off for the past few days. I haven't figured out the cause, yet.

Oh, wait! I forgot! I'm not a doctor.

*Duh*

I should have taken Tok Wan's advice when I was a kid: grow up and be either a doctor, a police inspector, or an army liutenant (typical, isn't he?). But back then, being a rebellious teenager at a boarding school, I choose engineering instead. Just to end up being none of the above.

*Sigh*

Morale: Listen to your elders.

However, being an HR executive is not entirely that bad. You have some amount of influence as a uniformed personnel, with slightly lower pay than a doctor. By doctor, I meant those working in the government hospitals.

Engineers? Well, everyone is an engineer in one way or another. Ever read 'To Err is Engineer'?

I guess not.

I didn't read it either. I only skimmed through the book once, while doing an assignment on engineering failure.

Ironic.

I think I'm not going anywhere with this entry. So, might as well we stop here before I found myself with another symptom of stress-induced absurdity.


p/s: I'm a chronic House addict, aren't I? Erm, did I put the last question correctly? Grammatically, I mean...

Start.

"You're diagnosed with stress-induced stupidity."
"What is that?"
"No use telling you. You're just too stupid to understand in this condition."
"What did you just said?!"
"See..."
"What's that supposed to mean? 'See...'?"
"Ops! I was wrong. You're just an idiot..."

Ok. I admit. I'm addicted to House MD. However, the above conversation is not derived from any of its series. I made it up just to fulfill my addiction.

D*mn slow downloads.¹

The plan to conduct English Language Proficiency classes is on!

Sh*t. More work.

And, I need to find a vendor or propose something for the Stress Management Program soon. Datin is already asking me about it.

Atikah²! Help!

BTW, if you didn't read last entry's comments, I didn't win the Best Hari Raya Outfit Award. I was disqualified because I was one of the advisor for the organizing committee my Baju Melayu is in pink. The judge said it was not manly enough³.

(Stereotype sexist...)

Anyway, my entries will be in English after this. At least until I'm through with the ELP classes so that I can be proficient enough to take over the world.

HAHAHA!

"This patient is psychotic. He has neurological problems"
"Oh! Shut up, Foreman!"


p/s: Please, do comment on my English. I know it's bad.


footnote:

1. Downloading copyrighted work is illegal, unless no one make a fuss about it.
   
2. Atikah is the Safety Executive in the HSE Section. No need to be jealous Ayang.
3. OK, I made this verdict up.
   

Kopi.

Aku menghirup kopi seraya menaip entri ini. Hari ini ada tiga jemputan rumah terbuka (Pejai, Lan, dan Bebeh) dan RAPAT '06 (gathering Geng Jurnal).

Bini tersayang dah lama bertolak ke Konvensyen Omega Trend beliau. Aku masih berkemban. Tak tahu nak pergi yang mana satu. Yang pasti, tak dapat la nak ke RAPAT '06.

Seperti biasa, aku berbaju Melayu ke ofis pada hari Jumaat. Cuma semalam, bukan aku seorang sahaja berbaju Melayu di ofis.

Sebabnya?

Ada pertandingan pakaian Hari Raya terbaik. Pra aktiviti untuk jamuan Hari Raya yang akan diadakan selepas pembentangan strategi dan perancangan bisnes oleh Naib Presiden pada hari Selasa nanti.

Agak2, boleh menang tak? Haha.


p/s: Kaler pink. Haha. Bini tersayang yang pilih. Katanya nak bagi sepadan dengan baju raya beliau.

Melayu?

"Um... No?"

Kecewa benar aku setelah membaca laporan ucapan Naib Ketua Pemuda sebentar tadi. Dia beri amaran kepada ketua GLC.

Katanya, pelantikan mereka ke jawatan itu sebenarnya berpunca daripada kekuatan UMNO di dalam kerajaan dan bukannya disebabkan CEO terbabit merupakan antara mereka yang terbaik.

Patutlah banyak GLC yang gagal...

"Tanpa UMNO mereka tidak akan dapat memegang jawatan sebagai CEO."

Angkuh!

"...Kita bukan tuntut projek yang berbilion-bilion cuma kita sekadar meminta bantuan yang sepatutnya daripada mereka,”

Tak tahu malu!

...disambut dengan tepukan gemuruh dan sorakan daripada perwakilan pergerakan itu.

Bodoh. Kurang bijak...

Aku bukannya menentang parti ni. Sokong pon tidak. Cuma, aku rasa orang Melayu sikapnya lebih suka merendah diri dan bermaruah tinggi.

Kemudian, apabila Naib Ketua Pemuda menuturkan ayat;

"...Hakikatnya orang Melayu masih lemah dan perlu dibantu,”

Aku rasa betul2 terhina. Bagaimana seorang pemimpin yang sepatutnya menaikkan imej dan semangat bangsanya, boleh mengeluarkan ayat sebegini?

Sungguh memalukan.

Hakikatnya, situasi orang Melayu di Malaysia hari ini, ibarat mat rempit masuk Pemuda Umno ibarat anak yang terlalu dimanjakan. Tak mampu berdikari. Rosak akhlak.

Jadi, ini respon peribadi aku kepada beliau, "Tanpa UMNO Pak Lah mereka Khairy tidak akan dapat memegang jawatan sebagai CEO Naib Ketua Pemuda."

Kecewa.


p/s: Selalunya, aku hanya memerhati. Tapi, mamat sorang ni... *sigh*

Keluhan...

Aku bertolak pulang dari ofis pukul 10.45 malam tadi. Penat. Mengantuk. Serabut.

Sekarang sudah dekat pukul 2.00 pagi. Aku masih belum tido.

Esok, aku mungkin di Darby Park. Membentangkan bajet jabatan.

Kemudian berdebatlah aku dengan mereka untuk mempertahankan bajet itu. Untuk itu, aku mahu berbaju Melayu ala pahlawan silam. Cuma masalahnya, baju melayu aku kaler pink.

HAHAHA.

Belum. Aku belum gila lagi. Cuma horny gersang sangap kerinduan di malam Jumaat.

Oh...

p/s: Stress berlebihan adalah salah satu penyebab insomnia. Kamu tidak mahu stress? Tido...

Teguran.

Satu.

Sebelum kamu hantar resume, pastikan tiada kesalahan ejaan. Kesalahan ejaan memberi impresi yang tidak baik terhadap diri kamu. Tambah2 lagi jika perkataan itu bold, dan berada pada bahagian awal resume kamu. Contohnya; "PERMENANT ADDRESS".


Dua.

Gunalah gambar yang sesuai atas resume kamu. Gambar yang memperlihatkan profesionalisme kamu. Gambar kamu yang kacak. Atau yang comel. Dan senyum.

Tiga.

Jika kamu mahu dilayan secara professional, kamu harus berkelakuan professional. Walaupon aku mengenali kawan kamu, tidak bermakna kamu boleh berkelakuan seperti kamu itu kawan aku. Aku langsung tak kenal kamu.

Empat.

Belajarlah merendah diri.

Terima kasih.


p/s: Sebenarnya, banyak yang nak dibebelkan, tapi, mengantuk pulak. Painkiller... atau mungkin sebab dah lewat malam. Lain kali, aku nak tulis cara2 menghasilkan resume yang berkesan. Kalau rajinlah...

Kaki!

Sebelum aku mula menulis entri selepas hari raya ni, aku ingin bertafakur sejenak untuk mengenangkan zaman bujang yang telah aku akhiri genap setahun lalu.

Ya, hari ni ulangtahun perkahwinan aku dan bini tersayang yang pertama.

Belum.

Masih belum ada orang ketiga. Kami masih berusaha menemukan berudu dan tetelur.

UCAPAN UNTUK BINI TERSAYANG SAHAJA: Sayang, selamat ulangtahun perkahwinan. Mari kita berusaha lebih gigih untuk tahun yang mendatang. Walaupon 'timing' memainkan peranan penting, tapi, kita harus yakin; "Usaha tangga kejayaan!"

Bagaimana hari raya aku?

Aku demam lepas sembahyang raya. Mungkin akibat panas bakar sate malam sebelumnya. Demam tersebut berlanjutan selama tiga hari. Demam beserta batuk dan selsema.

Hari Khamis, baru aku jumpa doktor.

"Encik kena flu," Doktor.

Doktor bagi ubat. Aku makan. Esoknya, aku demam lagi. Ponteng kerja.

RALAT UNTUK BINI TERSAYANG SAHAJA: Eh, ayang betul! Orang tak pergi kerja Jumaat minggu lepas (dan Jumaat minggu ni jugak). Orang salah... sori...

Hari minggu tersebut, aku beransur pulih daripada flu. Tapi, tonsil dan tekak pulak mulai sakit. Mulut dan bibir mengalami ulser.

Isnin, jumpa doktor lagi. Doktor bagi ubat lain pulak.

Selasa, kesakitan tonsil dan tekak kian hilang. Ulser mulut dan bibir berkurang. Dapatlah aku makan nasik goreng berlaukkan sotong masak kunyit yang ditapau dengan selesa depan komputer ofis.

Masa mood raya ni lah, kerja datang banyak. Makan pon depan komputer...

*Sigh*

Rabu, aku bangun dengan kesakitan sendi di sekitar buku lali kanan. Tercapik2 jalan ke ofis. Pagi tu, ada perbincangan dengan Datin tentang jadual penyediaan bajet dan deadline yang harus diberi perhatian.

Aku kehilangan fokus ketika berbincang. Buku lali semakin sakit. Menjelang pukul 11.00, aku tak tahan. Tercapik2 aku turun ke klinik.

Setelah memberitahu yang aku tak jatuh, dan tak buat apa2 aktiviti lasak, doktor suruh periksa kandungan darah. Sejam kemudian, keputusan ujian darah menunjukkan kandungan asid urik yang tinggi.

Aku kena gout.

"Aiyo! Muda2 lagi dah kena gout? You makan apa?" komen Tracy. Itu reaksi tipikal yang aku terima bila aku menjawab soalan, "Kenapa kaki?"

Aduh...

p/s: Kalau nak buat rumah terbuka, pastikan ada lauk lain selain daging, udang dan kuah kacang. Kalau tak, jangan jemput aku. Terima kasih.